Nico goes to Azkaban
by nicodiangelolovah
Summary: Nico is on trial for using his dark powers. watch as he insults people and has a great time! during OotP. crack!fic COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**hey everybody! this is a completely random one shot. enjoy!**

* * *

I looked around the room, witches and wizards of all kinds sat on a kind of raised dias. in the front was the minister of magic, Cornelius Fudge. who held the title for stupidest man alive.

"Nico Di Angelo. you sit there accused of: umbraportation, umbrakinesis, and necromancy. how do you plead?" I looked at him and smiled

"guilty of all charges" he was stunned. here I was a little fifteen year old, claiming to be guilty of all charges.

"y-you plead guilty?" he asked clearly confused

"yes. that is what I said." insulting him worked, he straightened himself, and looked down at me with large curious eyes

"do you know that such acts are a guaranty of at least 5 years in azkaban?" I looked at him, still smiling

"yes. I am completely aware of what the consequences are." he was definitely shell shocked

"and you still plead guilty?" he asked in amazement

"well, it's true, so yes"

"and do you know why you are charged with this?" I laughed

"yep. because I shadow traveled. you wizards call it 'umbraportation'. into your office. proceeded to grab you with the shadows, and raised a dead kitten to stand on your desk. all of this before your 'aurors' caught me and stunned me" the wizards around the room flew into a panic. I caught a few words here and there

"...the minister's office?..."

"...shadow travel?..."

"...he summoned the dead..."

finally the minister raised his wand and a few rockets flew out.

"silence!" he yelled. everyone was quiet. I was positively rolling with laughter. well, as much as the chains on the chair let me

"so, I'm guessing you didn't tell them the story then" I was still shaking with laughter

"no. they didn't need to know that" he looked mad. I smiled at his expresion

"well, now they know!" I giggled to myself at the shocked faces of everyone in the room "what?" I asked. they quickly cleared their faces.

"so, Mr. Di Angelo. you agree that you broke into the ministry and attacked the minister of magic?" the witch on his left asked.

"well, no. I didn't break anything" she frowned "but yes, I did attack the minister of magic. but, as you can see, he is perfectly fine" she left it there. one of the wizards watching stood up and asked fudge if he could ask me a question. fudge complied. the wizard turned to me

"so, where did you learn umbrakinesis?" I gave a little snort

"yeah, like I'd tell you! really? you really thought I would tell you?" he looked unhappy

"well, you are at court and are by law required to answer truthfully" I laughed

"oh you silly thing! the punishment for using umbrakinesis is azkaban. now why should I be truthful if I already know I'm going?" the wizards and witches in the room were stunned, I knew I'd caught them. what need did I have for truth? there was no escape.

"Mr. Di Angelo, giving us this information will damper down your sentence." fudge said this.

"As if I care!" I laughed "ok, for fun, I'll tell you. my father taught me, and if he knew I was going to Azkaban for using it, he'd probably give me a pat on the back and say 'well done' so, think again" this caused an uproar, everyone was demanding different things.

"silence!" he yelled. "Mr. Di Angelo, who is your father?" I looked him straight in the eyes. why not have a little fun?

"my father is lord Voldemort" everyone flinched at the name, and a few witches in the back fainted. oh my, the things you can lie about these days.

"w-what?!" fudge asked, clearly on edge.

"you heard me. and just so you know, he's back. has been for almost a year now. that kid, harry potter, he is telling the truth." I spat his name; to try and sound like I hated him

"why is your last name not riddle then?" he asked scrutinizing my face

"because, Voldemort was the last of the riddles, if I walked up to some random wizard and introduced myself as Nico riddle, I very much doubt they would welcome me with open arms" the minister seemed to accept this.

"how old are you?" I smiled

"fifteen" he looked suprised

"and how are you fifteen?"

"because dear old dad had me only a couple months before he 'died' so yeah, I'm fifteen" I did died in quotation marks, well as good of quotation marks as I could with my hands being held in chains and all.

"and who is your mom?" I looked at him coldly

"doesn't matter. she's dead" I said this with so much pain in my voice, that some of the wizards in deep red robes, looked at me in pity.

"Nico Riddle, we must pass judgement. do you have anything to say?" I looked at him and gave him a huge grin

"yes, I do" he nodded for me to start

"very well, tell us" I smirked this was going to be fun

"now, I know you don't believe Voldemort is back. so this is hypothetical. lets say that Voldemort comes back. where will he look to find followers? is he going to look in the ministry where every thing is rainbows and lollipops? no. he will look where those that already have a reason to hate the ministry are. Azkaban. you have seen what I can do fudge, just so you know. that is the tip of the iceberg. I am much more powerful than you could ever imagine. now, do you want that power in your hands or in his? I have no allegiance to him, yeah, I know 'he's you father' I don't give a crap. I never knew him, and I don't love him in any way so, choose my sentence carefully"

"if you've never met him, how did he teach you?" some wizard in the back asked

"he left a book, describing in detail how too, and he used a spell on my mother when she was pregnant that made me able too, any more questions?"

"no more questions can be asked at this time. I need to confer with my fellow judges on his punishment." I looked at them, they obviously thought they were out of hearing range, guess they didn't count on demigod hearing. I heard every word, and it was amazing! of course, normal people wouldn't think so, but I am most definitely not normal.

"we have decided. the accused is to serve 5 years in Azkaban for his crimes. the suppression seals will not be released during this period. Nico Riddle, do you have anything to say? I shook my head

"very well, dementors lead him away" the witch on his right said this, I took a good look at her, she looked like a pink toad. she conjured a white cat that walked in front of all the people sitting down. the doors in the back opened and two beings walked in. when I saw them, I laughed, oh my! this was perfect! fudge looked like he was going to burst an artery in confusion

"why are you laughing?!" he demanded. I just laughed at him; maniacally just because I could, and I wanted to give them a scare. of course I sounded like a crazy person. which to be fair, I am pretty crazy. the dementors came closer, if only he knew! dementors are supposed to leach the happiness out of someone, making them weaker and weaker, instead they were giving me more power! oh, poor fudge. so clueless. they led me away.

* * *

when we got to Azkaban, I will admit. I was expecting a muggle prison. instead there was this castle looking thing on an island. perfect, it was gloomy and dark. I loved it already. the Aurors that fudge assigned me led me inside, and put me in a cell/dungeon thing at the end of the hall. then they posted one of the dementors right outside. oh, the stupid things wizards do.

"bye friends!" I called to him as they left. they didn't answer. so rude. I looked around my cell, it had a mattress of sorts in the corner, and that was about it.

I walked up to the dementor guarding my cell

"hey, is it ok if I borrow some of your power for a minute?"

_"yes my lord"_ it spoke in my head. I reached through the bars and grabbed it's cloak. channeling power I surged it on the seals, they acted up, causing pain and trying to suppress my power. key word: trying. I overcame them and they broke in a flash of red light

"ahh, that feels good" I moaned as my power flowed through my veins normally again. I sat down on the 'bed' and rested my head against the wall. "hey dementor! can you bring me some food please?" I asked. it glided away. a few minutes later it came back with a plate of 'food'

"what is this?" I asked puzzled

_"this is the only food we have. all the prisoners have to eat it"_ wow, that sucked. I ate it anyway. it tasted like rotting cardboard, still not the grossest thing I've ever eaten. just then I heard someone talking to the guards outside, they sounded upset. I wonder if that's the girl I met outside the ministry. what was her name? oh right, Hermione. she was really nice. someone eventually opened the door, and three people walked this way.

"are you sure you made the right decision?" a male voice asked, he sounded old.

"quite sure. his father is he-who-must-not-be-named!" fudge, ugh. he was going to have a fit over the suppression seals.

"he's Voldemort's son?!" yep, definitely Hermione.

"yes! he told us himself!" I snickered

"and you think he is incapable of lying?" came the older voice again

"Dumbledore, how many times do I have to tell you?! he is too powerful to be anything else!" go Dumbledore! you made fudge mad! good job man. they finally made it to my cell. I walked to the door completely silent

"oh hello, I was wondering who was arguing. you know, you should be quieter. some of us are trying to sleep" fudge didn't look amused, but Hermione laughed and Dumbledore chuckled.

"he has a sense of humor" Dumbledore noted.

"wow! really?! I didn't know!" I said sarcastically. Hermione giggled.

"that's not why we're here. Dumbledore, you said you had a question for young Mr. Di An-Riddle here. he caught himself mid sentece

"oh, don't start using that name. I hate it! my name is Nico Di Angelo! not Riddle!" I yelled that last part. fudge took an involuntary step back.

"ok Nico" Dumbledore started, I cut him off

"no, you listen first. I don't want anything. don't need anything, and I quite like it here so leave me alone." they just stared in shock "what?!" I asked pissed

"you like it here?" Hermione questioned

"yes! it's so nice and gloomy!" they looked horrified.

"nice and gloomy?!" fudge yelled

"hey! keep it down! we don't like loud noises!" I hissed at him. he sobered up. "now, why were you here?" I asked this at Dumbledore

"I was wondering if you really were Voldemort's son" he replied. wow, he says the name. fudge winced of course.

"no. I am not Voldemort's son. but my father is much worse than Voldemort" I said evilly. fudge lost it

"you lied!? you were under oath!" he yelled. I reached my hand out and clasped his mouth

"shh!" I hissed. he struggled, and was very surprised that he couldn't get free. "yes, I lied. but, it was better than the alternative" I gave him a maniac grin.

"who is your father then?" Dumbledore asked kindly. I smiled wickedly

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you" fudge gasped, sort of. I still had a hold of his mouth. I let him go. he stepped back and rubbed his mouth.

"and why would you have to kill me?" Dumbledore asked, still kind. but his eyes gave a different message.

"because it is one of the most guarded secrets in the world." he nodded, as if this was completely normal. I turned to Hermione, who was pretty silent through this whole deal

"and why are you here?" I asked kindly.

"oh! I, um, I just saw you before, and, um, professor Dumbledore asked if anyone knew you and I said yes" she said this like it was a question

"oh, ok then. you like me" I said it as a statement, I mean. it was kind of obvious.

"what?! I, wh- I-uh -I ." she stuttered before fudge exploded. again. he was quieter this time though, and he kept out of my reach

"you like him?! you said you'd just met him?!" Hermione blushed, I chuckled and they turned to face me.

"you are so funny when you are mad" I told fudge, his face turned a purple color. "if you don't have anything else to say, I'm going to go back to talking with the dementors" that got Dumbledore's attention

"you can speak to dementors?" oops, should have kept my mouth shut.

"no" I lied "I make up a conversation with them. like I will say 'hello' and then I pretend that they are talking back" they just stared.

"what? what else is there to do? I twiddled my thumbs too long" Hermione laughed, I smiled.

"well, Dumbledore. you heard him. lets go" fudge started to shoo them away

"oh, minister! I have a question!" I called, he came back

"yes?"

"I was wondering how many visits I got a month, you know since I'm underage" he looked as if he didn't want to tell me.

"you get one a week" he said grudgingly

"wow, that's a lot" I whistled "hey Hermione! will you visit me every week?" I winked, her face went so red a tomato would have been jealous,

"sh-sure" she said, looking at the ground

"see you next week!" I called as they left. I wasn't going to be here next week. I was leaving in 2 days, mostly I liked it here so I was staying longer than normal. and also I haven't slept on a bed in so long.

I fell asleep quickly

* * *

2 days later

* * *

I woke up late, today was the day. I was kind of sad to leave Azkaban, I know, you think I'm crazy. but it just had so much gloom! I loved it! but the food definitely needed improvement. I walked to the bars of my room, and struck up a conversation with the poor soul across from me.

"hello, what's your name?" I asked, cheerfully

"why do you care?" it was definitely a woman

"because I'm leaving today, so I figured I might as well get to know you before I leave" she walked to the bars. she was definitely crazy, she had the same maniac glint in her eye that I did when planning.

"my name is Bellatrix lestrange." I smiled

"oh! I know you! you're the one who cursed those wizards like 15 years ago! got to say, I am a big fan" she looked shocked

"what?" I gave a small chuckle

"you are _the _ Bellatrix lestrange are you not?" she nodded, uncertain

"yes I am"

"hi, I'm Nico Di Angelo, and I'm escaping today. want to come?" she was intruiged

"how?" I smiled a crazy smile.

"lets just say, I _used_ to have suppression seals" she looked awed, and slightly afraid of me.

"and what happened to them?" she was definitely interested. I held out my left hand through the bars, and summoned a handful of black fire.

"I decided they were unnecessary." she smiled a smile similar to my own.

"then, I believe these bars are also unnecessary" I smiled

"I agree, but no need to alert them of out escape" I let the hellfire die, and using the shadows, I unlocked my door "see, no need for them to know we escaped"

"do mine!" she sounded too eager, like she was going to do something, I didn't trust her

"and why should I? I don't know you, for all I know you will kill me as soon as you get out" her face fell, aha! she did want to kill me. she pouted

"please? I promise not to kill you" I smiled, if I made her swear on the styx, then she couldn't kill me

"ok, repeat after me, I swear on the river styx not to kill you"

"ok, I swear on the river styx no to kill you" thunder boomed in the distance

"alright" I used the shadows to unlock her cell as well "well, we had better get going before the dementors realize we've escaped" I know they wouldn't care but I wasn't going to reveal that.

"lets go then" she started walking, the wrong way.

"um, you're going the wrong way" I stated, she turned

"no, I'm going to free my husband, and friends"

"oh, well you're on your own then. by the way, Voldemort has returned. do you know where I can find him?" she flinched at the name

"you want to find the dark lord?" she sounded incredulous

"yes. I wish to join his, what were they called? oh yes, 'death eaters' why anyone would want to eat Thantos is a a mystery to me, but that's aside from the point"

"well, Nico, you've come to the right place. I am one of his 'death eaters' and if you help me release the others, the dark lord will reward you greatly" I nodded

"ok, lead the way"

* * *

we finally released all the others, they for the most part just stared as I manipulated the shadows, some of them looked so far gone I wasn't sure if even Mr. D could repair their minds

"so, to quote a movie 'take me to your leader' please" I added the please, because I felt like it

"we have to get off this island first" one of the men replied. I laughed a little maniacally

"Bella dear, may I access your memories please? if I know where we are going I can transport all of there" they all went on guard, or as on guard as you can with no weapons against someone who is twenty times more powerful than you, with your weapons.

"are you a legilimen?" I nodded

"yeah, something like that, we need to leave soon. the dementors have contacted the minister" they all shook at the mention of dementors

"fine, you can look at my memories, take us here" I moved forward

"look into my eyes" she looked, I saw a mansion white with peacocks

"ah don't tell me that git Lucius Malfoy is a death eater" I grumbled

"unfortunately, he is. and his house is where we meet" I sighed

"fine, everyone hold hands, and when we arrive, please don't barf on me. this will be unpleasant" I concentrated, and shadow traveled us all the way to the manor, I went faster than normal it was a little risky but it took less energy. we plopped in the middle of a grand garden, and immediately fell over gasping. it was more taxing than I'd thought. must have been the wards.

"how did you do that?" one of the men asked, I smiled a little

"you wizards call it umbraportation. it's very risky magic. like apparition but works through wards, it also has a higher splinching rate." they all stared in shock for a moment, but then I heard footprints and stood. I pulled some ambrosia from my pocket and ate it. instantly strength flowed back through my body. a man called out

"who's there? I warn you, this is privet property!" I outright laughed, it sounded really crazy. perfect. he heard it and stopped for a moment, then continued

"why are you here?" he called. I gave another chuckle Bellatrix responded

"we are here to see the dark lord"

"Bella? you escaped?!" he stuttered, then came around the corner. we must have been a sight to behold. 10 wizards dressed in extremely ripped clothes, and one 15 year old in near new black robes, with a skull ring.

"hello, nice to see you again Malfoy" I stated when he came into view, his eyes zeroed in on me, and then widened "just so you know, I lied about my parentage, and if you wish to see the light of another day you will not mention that. at all. got it?" he nodded vigorously

"ah, Lucius the years have been kind I see" one of 'death eaters' told him

"yes, they have Dolohov" the wizard in question sneered

"that's what happens when you deny the dark lord. we will be welcomed with open arms!" from the look on Malfoy's face he hit a nerve.

"well, if you are done, I would really like to meet the 'dark lord' now" they all turned and looked at me like they just remembered I was there.

"certainly, you will tell us all how and why you are here" we walked inside.

first impression: nice. second impression: way too white.  
he lead us through his mansion, it was a long walk, good thing I had that ambrosia. otherwise, I probably would have fainted by now. we finally got to a fancy door. we stopped and Malfoy knocked.

"enter" came cold voice from inside. we walked in. first thing I thought was 'woah, big table' there was this really long table, it reached from one end to the other, and could easily seat 40 people. then I realized that about 15 people were already seated. the one who told us to enter was at the head of the table. without thinking I blurted out

"you don't have a nose" curse you! you stupid ADHD brain! he turned to look at me, and noticing my companions his eyes widened in surprise. then he laughed. laughed at my stupid comment

"oh I like this one!" he chuckled, it was dry with no humor "how old are you boy?" I had an urge to ask if he had assumed my gender, but decided against it. I was lucky once.

"fifteen. am I correct in assuming that you are the dark lord?" I asked flippantly. the others seemed shocked that I used this name with little or no respect. he chuckled again

"yes. I am lord Voldemort" everyone else flinched

"cool. I'm Nico Di Angelo" he looked at my 'friends' and then back at me

"tell me everything"

"is it ok if I sit down? shadow traveling took a lot out of me" he nods. I sat about three chairs away from him. and recounted my tale. I left out everything before Bellatrix, and the fact that I could talk to dementors.

"so, why were in Azkaban?" I smirked

"I shadow traveled into fudge's office, used umbrakinesis to hold him captive, and summoned a dead kitten to stand on his desk" this was met with a lot of jaw dropping, and attempting to shut their mouths.

"you can use necromancy?" Voldemort asked. I nodded

"yeah. want to see?"

"yes" I smiled micheviously

"grab my hand" I held out my left hand. he stared at it for a moment then grabbed it. I shadow traveled us out side. he stumbled when we hit the ground. I smiled.

"was that you 'shadow travel?'" I smirked

"yes, now, watch closely" I twisted my skull ring, and my sword popped out. he gawked. I sliced my left palm a little. and turned my sword back into the ring. then I brought my hands together.

"what are you doing?" I hissed in annoyance. he was really dumb for a dark wizard.

"πνεύματα των νεκρών, προσέξτε τη φωνή μου. Ξυπνήστε και ελάτε σε μένα" (spirits of the dead heed my voice. awaken and come to me) rumbling spread throughout the garden. then a handful of skeletons burst through the ground at my feet.

"does that answer your question?" he just stared at the skeletons, then he smiled the evilest smile I have ever seen

"yes. I am thinking you would make a great death eater" I chuckled darkly

"I might. but I only serve myself. I learned the hard way not to pledge service to anyone"

"fair enough" I walked over to him

"do you happen to have any food? Azkaban doesn't have the best" he lead me back inside, and to the dining room. the rest of his followers had taken their seats.

"Lucius, get some food" Malfoy hurried out of the room. Voldemort sat down, I remained standing.

"do you want me to heal that?" one of the witches (not Bellatrix) asked pointing to my hand

"oh, no I'm good" I pulled my bottle of nectar out of my robes, and poured a little bit on my hand. it healed immediately. the death eaters gasped in shock. oops, they were all staring at me.

"what is that?" Bellatrix asked

"this is a, um, potion of sorts. it only works for me. if anyone else drinks it they will burn to ashes"

"I don't believe you" Dolohov said reaching for it

"if you die don't blame me" he retracted his hand. I sipped some. the energy I used summoning was replenished, but the fire stayed a little too long. I shouldn't have anymore today.

"so, are you going to join the death eaters?" a young boy about my age asked. he must have been Malfoy Jr. he looked just like his supposed dad.

"no Malfoy, I'm not. I don't serve anyone but myself. I will not however give you to the authorities. well, it would be rather hard to do since I just escaped Azkaban." one of them raised their wand. "I wouldn't do that if I were you" he didn't stop, he pointed it at me

"oblivi-" he didn't get to finish whatever he was saying, I punched him in the face with a wall of shadows.

"I did warn you" I stated blandly at the prone form on the ground. he just groaned. the rest of them gave me a frightened look. here was a fifteen year old using umbrakinesis to such an extent. I can image their thought process.

"we must erase his memory!" one of the wizards I rescued told voldemort

"hi, I'm right here!" I intoned. he shut up real fast "so going on what this guy said. who volunteers to erase my memory?" I chalanged. they all shifted in their seats, but no one volunteered. "so, I will be leaving now. if you ever need me, owls can find me. bye" I turned to the wall, and disappeared into the shadows.

**the end!**

**if I get 50 reviews I will make it a two shot!**


	2. Chapter 2

**hi. I loved this story so much that I'm writing a second part to it. I might even write a third...**

**but anyway, I know I said if I got 50 reviews, but 7 seems like plenty so...here you go! :)**

* * *

I woke with a start. something had moved in the abandoned house I was using as a temporary refuge. I grasped my sword and stood. there. something moved in the other room sending shadows under the door. it had to either be a human, or a humanoid monster.

"hello?" I called out. if it was human they would answer. right? suddenly the door was blasted apart by a jet of green light. and there was a wizard. great. I had had enough of wizards for a while, I mean, I just 'escaped' Azkaban a few weeks ago.

"who are you and how did you get in here!?" he yelled. he looked odd. he had a wooden leg, and an electric blue eye. wizards sure do have an odd fashion sense. I put my sword away discretely and raised my hands.

"who I am doesn't matter, and how I got in is the front door" he snarled at me, and raised his wand so that it pointed at my face.

"no you didn't. you cant apparate into this house, and the front door spells are undamaged" I cursed under my breath. in greek of course. I had shadow traveled into here, because I didn't want to be disturbed.

"alright. fine." I took a deep breath. by telling him, I was probably going to get sentenced with death for escaping, or something like that.

"I'm waiting" he said impatiently

"and it wouldn't kill you to wait a little longer." he growled. I sighed "I used umbraportation to get in. I just wanted to take a nap in a seemingly abandoned house" he didn't look convinced

"and how do you know how to do that? its been illegal for almost 500 years!"

"its not illegal in America" he frowned slightly.

"you're American? you don't have an American accent" I sighed. I was Italian. so, yeah I didn't really have an American accent.

"I'm Italian. my family moved to America when I was 9" he seemed to believe me.

"why were you in this house?! were you sent here to spy on us?!" he came closer, less than 3 feet away. I shook my head

"who in their right mind sends a 15 year old to spy?" he growled

"the dark lord. that's who" I laughed. this guy thought I worked for Voldemort! "stop laughing right now!" he hissed. I couldn't. "why are you laughing?!" I just shook my head with laughter. then he shot a bolt of red light that hit me in the stomach.

"hey what was that for?!" I said, but no sound came out. schist. he used the silencing spell. good thing I knew nonverbal magic. I thought the counter curse, and started yelling at him.

"Γιατί τον Άδη το έκανες αυτό; Δεν σου έκανα τίποτα!" oops, I just yelled in greek. he looked stunned that I got past his spell.

"what did you just say?" I looked him over, I could take him if he didn't have his wand. well, I could take him with his wand, but not without giving away my identity.

"I cussed you out" I responded calmly. (he didn't really)

"in what language?" I was so going to pull his leg now...

"the normal type" he looked mad.

"you tell me what language right now, or I'm going to knock you out and take you in for questioning!" that put me on guard, was this guy ministry?

"are you an auror?" I asked wary.

"ex-auror" he replied. phew. that means he wasn't required to take me in, and I wouldn't have to use shadow travel to escape punishment.

"who do you work for then?" I questioned, who was he going to take me to?

"I work for a secret organization" I nodded. this must be the anti-voldy movement.

"so, you're an anti-Voldemort movement?" he looked surprised that I said the name.

"yes. we are here to stop Voldemort, and save the wizarding world" I nodded sagely

"from what I've gathered, he's a pushover. he didn't even know what necromancy is!" the ex-auror, stared at me with that weird eye.

"you've met him?" I nodded, there wasn't really a way to cover my tracks, I was just going to tweak the story a little.

"yeah, he broke me and ten of his 'death eaters' out of Azkaban a few weeks ago" oops. I just gave away my identity. well...

"what?!" he shot a blast of red light at me that I recognized as a stunner spell, and not wanting to black out, I drew my sword and reflected it right back at him. he erected a shield to stop it, and was definitely surprised by my little sword trick.

"hey!" I yelled. then blocked another red beam of light "I'm not with him! I basically told him to off himself, and that I was leaving whether or not he wanted me to" he didn't believe me. 'duh'. here's a kid that just said he was in Azkaban. and that he got rescued by voldy. I mean, it does sound kind of weird.

"I'm not going to take you back to the ministry!" he said. I paused.

"where do you want to take me then?" I asked still wary.

"I was going to take you to my organization, and have you tell them where he took you" I snickered

"yeah right! 'have you tell them' more like, have you tortured until you tell!" he shook his head.

"no, I'm not going to force you to tell anything. we will have a trade of information. I tell you something, you tell me something" I nodded.

"fine. but lets go to your hideout first, because this place obviously isn't that well protected." he sighed.

"very well. hold my arm" I looked at him. was he crazy?

"um, why?" he looked at me fuuny

"so I can take you to the secret base" he said this slowly as if I was in first grade.

"um, like teleportation?" I asked. he shook his head.

"no, like umbraportation probably" I nodded. that I was fine with. I grabbed his arm, and suddenly I was being compressed through a tube. suffocating, I couldn't breath...and then it was over. I fell to the ground out of shock.

"nope. definitely prefer shadow travel" I muttered onto the doorstep I was on.

"get up now lad" he told me, grabbing my arm. I stood fluently, and saw a nice door.

"hey, this looks like the front door of the house I as just at" I noted.

"that's because this is the house next door" he said. I frowned

"number 13 grimauld place?" I asked. he shook his head.

"no. number 12" oh. that's why there was no number 12. it was hidden with magic. ugh, I walked right into this didn't I?

"well, lets go in then" just then, the door flew open, and there was a witch with bright pink hair.

"who are you-oh, hi mad-eye" 'mad-eye' nodded. the witch then turned to me.

"and who are you?" she asked.

"oh, I'm a prisoner" I replied cheerily. she stepped back and let us through.

"I'm going to question him in the kitchen. make sure the kids are where they're supposed to be, and the others can join me if they want" he said in his gruff voice

"got it mad-eye" she called, and half ran away. I heard a clunk followed by some not so discrete cussing. I guess she knocked something over. he lead me to the kitchen. the house looked pretty old, it was covered in dust, and cobwebs.

"so, whose house is this?" I asked looking around. it was my kind of house. there was this weird death vibe. it was great.

"everything will be explained when we get there" he replied cryptically. my ADHD went on overdrive looking at all the stuff. it was so cool! there were these creepy elf heads on the wall and everything. we finally got to the dining room, and there was a few people already there. one was a witch with flaming red hair, one was a wizard also with red hair. one was the witch with the pink hair. then there were two wizards sitting next to each other. one was tall with brown hair and a lot of scars like me. the other was shorter than him, but still pretty tall, he had a mess of black hair, and eyes that screamed Azkaban. I evaluated them, they looked more threatening than the whole group of Thantos- sorry- death eaters.

"who is this mad-eye?" the witch with the red hair asked.

"I'm not sure Ms. Weasley. I found him next door. he said he's seen Voldemort" only the now identified Ms. Weasley flinched at the name.

"so, I'm guessing you guys want the whole story?" I asked. they nodded. I sighed. "can I sit? it's kind of a long story" the one with the scars nodded that I could sit.

"so, first. why don't we start with introductions? my name's Nico Di Angelo. who's next?" they just stared at me. hmm, guess my stunt with the minister hit the front page or something. the one with the scars spoke next

"Remus Lupin" I nodded. the man sitting next to him spoke up

"Serious Black. welcome to my house" I looked at him. I recognized that name. he was the one who escaped Azkaban about 2 years ago. I nodded to him

"congrats on your escape" I told him, he recoiled like I'd stung him.

"how are you ok with that?!" he asked clearly on edge.

"well, I escaped like 3 weeks ago, so yeah. I know how you feel" they all drew their wands. "hey! woah! woah! woah! stop it. you guys don't hate Mr. Black here. so why do you hate me?" I asked.

"because, you escaped with ten death eaters. that might put us on edge" the man with red hair said. I know. dam.

"so, are the rest of you going to introduce yourselves...?" I asked once they had all sat back down

"Arthur Weasley" the man with red hair said.

"Ms. Weasley" the witch next to him told me. I figured as much.

"Tonks" the witch with the pink hair said. then she turned her hair green. I must have been staring, because 'mad-eye' cleared his throat.

"so, now we all know each other." I started, but mad-eye cut me off

"tell us your story now, before we send you to the ministry for escaping" he growled. I didn't even flinch.

"fine" I huffed. "well, did you guys read the news paper?" they all nodded "great. don't have to tell you that part. so, I was on trial, blah, blah, blah. 5 years in Azkaban. go there. got out with voldy. told him to suck it, and ran away. any questions?" they all just stared at me. "what?" they shook their heads a few times

"why did Voldemort help you escape?" Lupin asked.

"well, lets just say, I **_used_** to have suppression seals" I smiled evilly. they all stared

"what happened to them?" Serious asked. I grinned wickedly

"I decided that they were unnecessary" I replied. then I brought my left hand up, and lit it up with hellfire. their reactions were great! they all pointed their wands at me, and one of them yelled

"Finite Incantatum!" nothing happened. I put out the hellfire, and laughed maniacally.

"you are so *laugh* funny when you're *laugh* scared!" mad-eye turned to me.

"what was that?!" he yelled. I just laughed. after a minute or so, I got my laughter under control.

"that my friend, was hellfire" I responded giving them my death stare. Ms. Weasley turned to mad-eye

"are you sure bringing him here was a good idea?" I chuckled

"you know I can hear you right?" she looked at me harshly, I responded with my death stare. she looked away quickly. "so, can I leave now? my father is expecting me any minute now" they all pointed their wands at me again.

"your father?" Lupin asked. I nodded

"yes. my father" I said this like he was an idiot.

"you said your father was Voldemort" he started. I cut him off

"yeah, I know. I lied ok? I cant tell you who my father is, and he's pretty evil, so I figured voldy would be a good representation" they stared at me or a minute. I was beginning to get uncomfortable. "um, so, can I leave? or no?"

"no" they all replied at once. I smirked

"that sounds like a challenge" I told them, the pointed their wands at me face. "challenge accepted" I whispered. then I reached my left hand out, and grabbed all their wands with the shadows, and brought them to me. I picked up all five of the sticks. "you know, you really should keep better protection on these things" I told them, spinning two of the sticks on my fingers. they all reached out to take their wands back, but I just tied them to their chairs with the shadows.

"give me back my wand!" Serious yelled. I looked at him

"and why would I do that?" I asked calmly.

"b-because It-its mine!" he stuttered. I chuckled darkly

"not anymore" I told him, then I grabbed his wand with both hands

"shut up. or I break it" I told him. he immediately shut up. "so, I'm leaving now, and well, I'd say 'see you later'. but I really don't want to see you later, so. bye!" I threw their sticks at them and shadow traveled away.

* * *

**end of part two.**

**hope you guys liked it! and if I get 50 reviews total, I'll post part three. maybe. we'll see how it goes :) please review, and tell me if I spelled anything wrong :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello dear readers! I think I might just make this into a story.**

**what do you guys think? review and tell me your thoughts :)**

**PS. the actual chapter will come later, ok site people?! this isn't an authors note. it is the pre-chapter note, on a non-existent (yet) chapter.**

* * *

I was just trying to get a good nights sleep. so, naturally, an owl just had to come and ruin that dream. just my luck. I heard a 'screeeech!' from the window of the abandoned house I was in, and went to it. there was an owl, a barn owl if I was correct, and it had a letter. I took the letter, and told the owl to leave. it wouldn't leave. so, I looked at the letter, on the front it said something like:

_Noci Di Alngo._

Oh, it was my name. Nico Di Angelo. stupid dyslexia. I opened the letter, and read it. (read: stumbled through it for almost an hour) when I had finished, I gathered something like:

_Mr. Di Angelo,  
you told us when you left that you could be found by owl, I am requesting your presence. I have something I would like you to see. if you decide to come, we will be at the same location as last time.  
_

_TDL._

well. that's not something you see every day. looks like old moldy-shorts sent me a letter after all. how considerate. (please note the excessive use of sarcasm) well, this left me with a decision. it had been almost a week since I was 'captured' by the order. I was going to go to voldy's thing; I had nothing better to do. I stood, and shadow traveled to Malfoy's house. I didn't bother traveling to the garden, I just went straight in front of the dining room door. I knocked.

"come in" I heard him say. I opened the door, and was promptly greeted by a chorus of gasps.

"hello again everyone!" I called. I was in my wizard robes, mostly because they were comfy. I turned to Riddle "you wanted something?" I asked him. he seemed unhappy that I'd brought it up so soon.

"yes" he said slowly "but, I would like to show you _after _the meeting" I nodded. he didn't want his followers to see this thing.

"alright" I sat in a chair that was off to the side "I'll wait" after a few minutes of awkward silence, wizards started arriving. they all came in through the same door I had. and they took their respective places around the table. after gasping when they saw me of course. I mean, how could you forget that?

* * *

After the meeting; which was just a long discussion on how to kill Harry Potter, voldy turned to me.

"ok, its in the yard" we went outside, and into the back yard. he led me around some nice gardens, before we came to a glowing blue wall.

"um, why is it glowing?" I mean, I didn't know...

"its a protection spell"

"for us, or for the thing inside?"

"both" with a wave of his wand, the barrier vanished, and I promptly gasped.

"why the Styx do you have Di Inferi in your back yard?!" I yelled at him, he smiled a cold smile

"because I control them" I shook my head no violently

"no. only sons of Ha-" I caught myself "people like me, can control them"

"I created them, I control them" my breath hitched. this guy had killed these people, and performed illegal magic on their dead bodies?! he was insane! Di Inferi are violent creatures, that only do things that they want to do if controlled by wizards. I decided to test that theory

"ok, have them all do handstands" he gave me an odd look

"why?" I growled

"to prove that you can control them. if you don't, I will promptly banish them back to the underworld where they belong" he frowned, and looked at the monsters, a tight look of concentration came across his face and then, nothing happened.

"wow. that was super anti-climactic" I intoned. he frowned again, and concentrated harder. nothing happened.

"why won't they listen to me?!" he cried obviously frustrated

"because, when a wizard creates Di Inferi, they only do what they want too. like murder, chasing, fraud. but if you tell them to do something they don't want to do. they will ignore you"

"and do they do whatever you tell them to do"

"yes. they have to""

"then make them do a handstand" I should have seen that coming.

"fine" I grumbled, and walked right into the middle of Di Inferi. I closed my eyes, and started to sway back and forth.

"Ακούστε με και προσέξτε τη φωνή μου. Κάνε μια γραμμή, και κάνε μια χειροβάση" (listen to me and heed my voice. make a line and do a handstand) they complied, a dozed zombies doing handstands in a line is not something you see everyday. voldy was openly gaping. I smirked widely

"so, it appears that you can not in fact control them to a successful level. and therefore, I must return them to the underworld where they belong" voldy held his hand up, the universal sign for 'wait'.

"but _you_ can. will you lead them in battle?" I considered for a moment, before shaking my head no.

"sorry, but I cant. this isn't my war. I'm not one of you" he seemed taken aback

"only a wizard can perform necromancy" he argued. I smiled ruefully

"that is where you are wrong. there is a whole other world that survives much like yours: in the shadows. I am part of that universe. also, I've just finished my second full scale war, and I'm in no hurry to fight another one. so, thanks but no thanks" he seemed seriously surprised by this

"you've been in two wars?" I nodded

"and survived. that's more than most can say" I pulled my right sleeve up, and showed him my tattoo

"what is it?" I smiled sadly

"those are all the people who died so that I could live. those are their names in Greek" he was surprised to say the least

"so, who are you?" I smirked

"sorry, but that would be like a wizard performing magic in front of a muggle, and then announcing that it was in fact magic. I am sworn to secrecy. so, I cant tell you anything" he growled. it wasn't that scary

"I can torture you" I laughed at him

"oh honey. you don't know the meaning of torture. I have survived the worst torture ever. I lost my family, so go ahead. I bet tartarus was just a warm up act compared to you" oh styx. I just said tartarus. he didn't notice

"you dare?! I am Lord Voldemort!" I snickered

"hang on, 'Lord Voldemort' what's with the lord thing?" that put him off, he gave me a weird look

"I am lord Voldemort!"

"yeah, and I'm the president. what's your point?" he growled again

"Crucio!"

* * *

**Voldy's POV  
(LOL)  
**

"I am Lord Voldemort!" he exclaimed, clearly expecting some response. just not the one he got

"yeah, and I'm the president. what's you point?" asked the black haired teen. that was it. he growled. this little prick was not going to get away with insulting him!

"Crucio!" he exclaimed, and closed his eyes. he expected to hear the screams of the tortured. what he was _not_ expecting was laughter. he opened his eyes, and saw the ten outright laughing at him.

"gods, you are so dumb! what was that? it tickled!" this ticked off the dark lord even more. he wanted to torture the boy, but it wasn't working.

"Crucio!" he cried again. he watched the spell hit the boy straight in the chest. then he just continued laughing! it was infuriating!

"ok, I let you have your fun. is it my turn?" the teen looked up mischievously and for the first time, the dark lord felt a shiver of fear pass down his spine. then the raven pulled out his sword, and cut himself again. Voldemort knew what was coming, and he didn't do anything to stop it. the teen began chanting in what he assumed was Greek. before the ground split open and revealed...a ghost?

"what is this?" he asked clearly perturbed, the dark haired boy smiled

"yo mamma" then he vanished into the shadows. and Voldemort faced the ghost, and saw a young woman. she was very plain, and she had the slytherin locket around her neck.

"hello Tom"

* * *

**My gods! that was so much fun to write! them 'yo mamma' jokes never get old :) but don't worry, I'm not going to leave you here on this perfect cliffie... *coughs* sorry, spaced out for a moment. well, on to the next part**

* * *

**Nico's POV**

I fell to the ground and groaned. Will was going to kill me for using so much of my powers at once. I managed to look up, and see that I was the last place I wanted to be. number twelve Grimmauld place. great. I slipped into unconsciousness.

I woke up, rested, but still tired. I stretched. _correction: tried to stretch._ I was bound hand and foot to a chair. I internally groaned, and may have let out a few choice Italian curses.

"ah, he's awake" I stared into the eyes of my captors. they were two different colors

"oh hello mad eye. how's the anti-voldy movement going?" he looked aghast that I said something. what did I say?

"well, sleeping beauty here is up and at-em. what do yo say we question young Mr. di Angelo?" slowly the brightness faded, and I realized I was in the kitchen tied to one of the chairs there.

"well sure. do you want to know where I just was?" he looked intrigued. I smiled

"check his pockets. make sure that nothing's cursed before you touch it"

"oh, nothing in my pockets is cursed. actually, I only have one thing in my pockets right now"

"and what might it be?" the werewolf asked

"oh a letter"

"from whom?" I smirked evilly

"Voldemort" Ms. Weasley gasped, of course, and mad eye pointed his wand at me

"why do you have a letter from him in your pocket?" he demanded

"um, is that a crime?"

"yes"

"I was being rhetorical. but anyway, read it if you so wish" they read it. faces paling as they did so.

"so, where were you before yo came here?"

"oh, nowhere important. just being tortured with the cruatious curse from voldy. nothing big" they looked shocked

"he tortured you?" I nodded "why?"

"well, I refused to lead his Inferi into battle" this elicited gasps from almost everyone

"he has Inferi?" I nodded

"yep, about three dozen from what he showed me" they all shared a look. then mad eye turned to me

"and how do I know you aren't on his side?" I snickered

"use the spell 'heratiatos' it shows you the last spell performed on a person" (nope. its completely made up) he squinted at my face, no doubt looking for hints of deception. he must not have found any because he pointed his wand at me

"heratiatos" black smoke started to pour from the end of his wand. it spelled a word. 'Crucio' I smirked.

"how do we know this isn't a spell that always says 'Crucio' when cast?" Serius asked. I glared at him

"try it on someone else" mad eye pointed his wand at Remus, who nodded. then eyeball cast a stunner spell. it was weak, and just knocked him back a little. then he cast my charm, and the word 'stupify' erupted in black smoke.

"ok, so now do you believe me?" they reluctantly nodded.

"alright, is there anything I should know?" they shook their heads "aw come on guys, I told you my big secret, you can tell me yours" they shook their heads some more

"no, I'm sorry. these aren't ours to share. I respected that.

"ok, well how's Potter?" eyeball scowled.

"that's none of your business kid" I scowled back

"I am not a 'kid' so don't call me one" he growled

"you need to learn to respect your elders" I laughed

"I'm _your_ elder"

"you're fifteen" I let out a small chuckle

"nope. I'm eighty five" he growled. but it was kind of cute

"how are you eighty five?" I sighed

"long story short? I was stuck in a magic hotel for almost seventy years. I was born in 1935. my father decided that me and my sister would be safer there when my mom died during the war"

"where's you sister? is she like you? does she follow the dark lord?!" I growled

"she died" I spat at him. how dare he accuse Bianca like that?

"I'm sorry" Remus said

"it's fine, but can you untie me please?" eyeball pointed his wand at me

"absolutely not! Voldemort has been known to torture his followers from time to time. I still don't trust you" I nodded sagely then smirked

"well, I hope you don't like this chair then" then I lit myself on fire.

* * *

**end of chapter three.**

**Yeeeeeeeeeeet! Got-em! hahahahahahahahha! cliffie!**

**but anyway, REVIEW! if you don't I will cry. ok, to answer the reviews now**

CH 1

**TimeBlade : ****thanks, and I did fix it**

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**Bean89: yes, you were right, and I fixed it**

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**do it: I did it**

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CH 2

**Bean89: while I appreciate it, your review still only counts as one review. sorry.**

**Sundsis: thank you. it came from a messed up dream**

**TimeBlade: yep. that's Nico. he dunk all his captors at once :)**

**pjo4ever: Nico sass is his redeeming quality**

**Hades Coolest God Ever: one, your username is amazing. two, thanks for the review!**

CH 3

**tefe203: here you go!**

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**Cielphantomhive8789: ayee my dude. here it be.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again lovely readers! I would apologize for that cliffie, but I'm not all that sorry. well, ON TO THE STORY!**

* * *

"where's you sister? is she like you? does she follow the dark lord?!" I growled.

"she died." I spat at him. how dare he accuse Bianca like that?

"I'm sorry." Remus said.

"it's fine, but can you untie me please?" eyeball pointed his wand at me.

"absolutely not! Voldemort has been known to torture his followers from time to time. I still don't trust you" I nodded sagely then smirked.

"well, I hope you don't like this chair then" then I lit myself on fire. the black flames quickly burned the chair away leaving me standing un-tied in front of 5 gaping wizards.

"what the hell was that?!" Sirius yelled springing to his feet. I laughed maniacally.

"that my friend was hellfire. I explained this last time, did I not?" I gave them an evil smirk. they responded by pointing their wands at me. I snorted.

"we've already proved I can beat you, did you want to be humiliated again?"

"Stupify!" mad eye yelled. a jet of red light exploded from the end of his wand. I twisted my ring, and my sword sprang to life. it deflected the stunner right back at him, and he had to raise a shield to block his own spell.

"wow. pathetic." I spat. -what was really pathetic is that he didn't take my ring- he growled and sent some more curses my way. the others joined in as well. I erected a 360 wall of shadows, and all the curses just bounced back. they seemed to realize this and ceased their fire.

"drop the shadow wall, we have you surrounded. if you stop now we can talk about this like men." Wolf said. I laughed coldly

"a little hard, as you're not a man. you're a lycon. also, you know I can leave with a thought, and you just want me to stay here" his face dropped. I'd caught him.

"you can't leave with a thought, the ward prohibit that" red head told me.

"really? I came in with little resistance from your so called 'wards' what makes you think leaving will be any different?" they paled significantly.

"how did you get past the wards?!" eyeball yelled. I rolled my eyes

"honestly, don't you ever read a paper? I appeared in the minister's office, which has anti-aparation wards, and you think that yours are stronger? I mean, I get that you have Dumbledore, but that doesn't change it."

"let me repeat myself. how. did. you. bypass. the. wards?!" I facepalmed.

"really? you are dumber than you look. how many of you went to school?" they all raised their hands "and how many of you took history of magic?" the hands stayed raised "what do you know of the older methods?" that seemed to click for them.

"you mean that's umbrapotation?" the werewolf asked.

"yes wolf, I can shadow travel. eyeball, didn't you tell them that?"

"eyeball?" pink hair asked. I nodded

"yeah, I can't remember any of your names, so I gave you all nicknames" I pointed to her "you're pinkie, he's eyeball, wolf, ginger, and you're prisoner" I pointed to each in turn. they did not appreciate their nicknames.

"prisoner?!" the prisoner yelled (LOL who else?)

"yes stupid. prisoner. you were in prison were you not?" he didn't have a response to that. eyeball raised his wand _again_.

"I didn't tell them, because I had forgot that part" he growled. I started laughing

"ooh! you're losing your touch old man!" I said between bursts of giggles. he growled again. it was menacing, but had _nothing _on me. I just smirked at him.

"who do you work for?" wolf asked me. I cocked my head

"myself" I answered nonchalant. eyeball growled, _again._

"you were just with Voldemort! how can we trust you?!"

"you are wizards are you not?" then I sighed "do you have a truth potion?"

pinkie nodded, and was promptly Denozoed by prisoner. she rubbed her head of hair that suddenly turned green. I may have gasped a little at the color change.

"yes" eyeball said reluctantly "we have veritaserum, but none with me right now" hmm, were all their spells and names Latin based?

"ok, then you'll just have to take my word for it" I said with a cheery smile. they didn't buy my smile.

"look here kid, we don't have time for this. tell us where Voldemort is, and we'll let you go" Prisoner told me.

"tsk, tsk. we have already established that I am here of my own free will, because I could have left any time now. and second, I swore an oath not to divulge that particular information. it's the only reason I'm still alive right now." red-head gulped, and looked as if she wanted to hug me. ugh, _mortals_ were sooo annoying!

"what do you mean 'it's the only reason you're alive'?" wolf asked me. I facepalmed. dam! these people were so stupid!

"it was the only reason they're not actively tracking me. they know I can't divulge their secrets so they leave me alone. although, you people don't seem to grasp that concept." I got some more glares.

the door to the room burst open, and a couple of people ran in. one was an elderly man in periwinkle blue robes decorated with stars and constellation, there was a girl with very bushy brown hair that looked oddly familiar, and a young boy that also had red hair. the witch screeched a little when she saw the situation, and the red head boy sent a stunner at my shadow wall. it redoubled back, and hit his hastily erected shield.

"oh, hello. who are you?" I asked the newcomers nonchalant. the elderly man gave a granfatherly chuckle

"I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore Headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry" my ADHD was reeling from his long name. it took almost a minute before I realized he was waiting for me to introduce myself.

"oh, I have ADHD. your name set me off. I'm Nico, Nico di Angelo. I would shake your hand, but I don't trust you, and eyeball over there would have a heart attack" the bushy haired girl gasped at my name. I flashed her a cheeky smile. eyeball made an indignant grunt. and the red head kid frowned. Albus-whatever-his-name-is smiled his weird grandfatherly smile that made me want to wretch, and leisurely took a seat. the rest of them stayed standing.

"ah, I remember you Nico. you were the one in Azkaban" Mr. name-is-to-long intoned, I nodded. then it struck me. that's who the bushy haired girl was! it was Hermione! no wonder she looked familiar!

"well hello Albus, and hello there Hermione." the witch in question sat down in a chair. I turned to the red haired boy "who are you?" I asked. he scowled

"none of your business" he retorted. nice, the kid's got spunk.

"ok, then what did you want?" I was getting a little tired holding the shadow wall. when I got back to camp Will was going to have a fit.

"information my boy" the old man said in a kind voice. I turned and gave him my best death glare, he balked a bit. I smiled evilly.

"and, what makes you think I'll give it to you? these nimrods have been trying for about fifteen minutes, and all it got them was a burned chair." Hermione suddenly looked interested.

"what do you mean?" she asked innocently. she was very pretty, if I was straight she'd be the kind of girl I'd go for. but, unfortunately for her, I already had a boyfriend.

"precisely what I said" I pointed to the ashes of what had been the chair "I burned a chair." she blanched, and cowered into herself a little. I grinned.

"well, if there's nothing else, I'll be going." I went to shadow travel away.

"don't let him leave!" eyeball yelled.

"lumos maximum!" one of them yelled. a bright light erupted in the kitchen, and the strain of holding the shadows increased ten fold. I was starting to sweat, but I held them. I laughed, it was kind of creepy.

"you thought a night light would help you? I am the prince of darkness! you cannot defeat me!" the bright light faded, and I smirked at the 'headmaster'

"I'd sat 'nice meeting you again', but it wasn't all that enjoyable. bye!" I shadow traveled out of there in a hurry.

when my feet touched down, I was in my cabin. I sighed in relief. then I promptly got in bed, and fainted.

* * *

I came too, to see the worried face of my boyfriend

"Nico! you're okay!" Will stated happily. then he put on his healer face "you are in so much trouble young man!" I shrank into myself.

"sorry Will. the stupid wizards wanted info. I refused. I was tied to a chair," he gasped "then I burned with hellfire." he frowned

"no more underworld-y stuff for the rest of the week!" he announced.

"but Will it's only Wednesday!" I whined.

"I don't care! you are not allowed to use your powers for the rest of the week!" I tried my puppy dog eyes.

"please?"

"you know those don't work on me." I scowled.

"fine then! I'll leave!" I went to get up but, he grabbed my arm.

"oh no you don't! okay, I'll make a deal with you; you stay in that bed the rest of today, and you can use your powers Saturday." I thought it over for a minute.

"fair enough. but you have to stay with me."

"done." he sat next to my bed.

* * *

**the end of august.**

* * *

I shadow traveled to the one place I never really wanted to go again. the headquarters of the order of the Phoenix. the stupid house as I called it. but, nonetheless, here I was, standing outside wondering how I should make my entrance. should I knock? travel to the foyer? the kitchen? or just straight to Harry's room? I was dressed in a weird ass cloak that my dad said was a 'reaper's cloak'. yeah. today I was Grimm reaper di Angelo, here to reap Tom Riddle's soul. the last one. I had got all the other ones, and this was my last stop for the day. I was a little peeved that I had to do it, because it meant that I had to reschedule my date with Will, but my father commanded me, and I was obliged to obey. oh well.

I shadow traveled straight into Harry's room. it was about midnight so he was predictably asleep. I pulled off my cloak, and stashed it away. no need to scare the kid. I tapped him on the shoulder -after taking his wand so he didn't try to kill me of course- he shot up like a spring.

"who are you?!" he questioned reaching for his wand. he went pale when I showed him that I had it by twirling it on my fingers.

"calm down Harry. I'm not here to hurt you." I told him in a firm voice.

"who the bloody hell are you?!" he asked again. I smirked.

"I'm Nico di Angelo, one of my father's reapers." I told him. he paled.

"so, you're here to kill me."

"No! I can't kill the light of the wizarding world! Hecate would have my arse! but that's not relevant, what kind of reputation would that give me! well, I mean, not that my reputation is all that great right now. breaking out of Azkaban does that." Harry paled

"you broke out of Azkaban?"

"yep! along with a couple of nut jobs who took me to this guy whose name rhymes with moldy shorts. called himself a 'lord'. he was a mit crazy. but anyway, I'm here to get a soul fragment, and it just so happens to be stuck in your scar there."

"wait...what?! you met Voldemort?! who the bloody hell are you?!" I sighed at his antics,

"I'm Nico di Angelo. I believe I already said that. but, I need the soul fragment in your scar to kill old moldy shorts." he just gaped a little.

"ok, so why do I have a soul fragment in my scar?" he questioned after a few moments.

"when Tommy boy tried to kill you as a baby, he had already mutilated his soul to such a degree that his attempt at your life fractured it more. a small piece attached itself to you. now, hold still so I can remove it." I twisted my ring so that my sword appeared.

"hey! I thought you said you weren't going to kill me!" he scuttled back. I sighed.

"I'm not. this is a channel for my magic, kind of like a wand. I need to touch it to your forehead for this to work." I stepped closer. he moved back farther.

"does it hurt?" he questioned, and for a moment I saw the scared 15 year old he hid inside his brave mask.

"No. It shouldn't hurt at all." He sighed in relief. I stepped forward, and touched the end of my sword to his scar. the sense of pure evil radiating from it increased enormously.

"Τομ Marvolo αίνιγμα, στο όνομα του πατέρα μου, του Άδη, του Άρχοντα των νεκρών, σε διατάζω να απελευθερώσεις την λαβή σου σε αυτό το σκάφος!"

** (Tom Marvolo Riddle, in the name of my father, Hades, Lord of the dead, I command you to release your hold on this vessel! )**

Black smoke started to pour from his forehead. I gathered it into the jar I had prepared. I shut the lid firmly, and wiped the beads of sweat off my brow.

"well, my job here is done. now I just got to go murder old Tommy boy. see you later Harry!"

* * *

**Finally! I finished it! there will be one more guaranteed chapter, and then I might write an epilogue…I'm not sure yet.**

**to my lovely reviewers!**

**Hiya people: thanks for reviewing! and he really didn't want to see them again...te he.**

**Christian Anderson: yeah, old voldy's nothing when compared to Gaea or the giants...**

**Guest: I know! I freaking fixed it! dam...can't get a break 'round here.**

**Guest: well, I have succeeded then...*maniacal laughter occurs in distance***

**When-fangirling-is-life-UwU: here is the update! hope you liked it! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Nico goes to Azkaban Ch. 5**

Today was the day. Today, I was going to kill old moldy-shorts. Yeah, yeah. Say whatever you want. I know, I'm only 15. Sue me. I'm a freaking son of Hades. It's not the first time I've killed. And it sure won't be the last. I was once again in my grim reaper cloak, and I shadow traveled to the location dearest Bella had given me last time. Really, you would've thought he'd keep his followers more prepared, and involved. He was a nutcase though.

Creeping silently down the hall, I waited in the shadows for the man at the door to move out of the way. He went in, and I slipped in after him on his shadow. Oh, I was in scumbag's shadow. How, _nice_. I hid in the corner waiting for the perfect moment to attack. It was only yesterday evening that I'd reaped the last of Riddle's horcruxes. Nasty one it was too. That scar was one tough piece of work. But, regardless, it was dead, and would not be coming back to life. Thank the gods for that!

"master, there have been no sightings of the boy. He appears to have dropped off the face of the planet." Nope. He was just in a super-secret location. Guess they couldn't get in. pooh on them!

"Lucius, must I remind you?" the blond paled considerably. I didn't like him, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him tortured. I chose that as my moment to step out of the shadows.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle. You have failed this city." They gave me blank looks. Oh, right. They didn't watch muggle shows. I sighed. "I'm here to kill you." I stated in much clearer terms. Voldemort stood. And the blond haired one -Lucius. I think his name was- pointed his wand at me too.

"and you think you can get away with that?"

"no. I know I can." I pulled my sword out of the shadows. They reacted just as I thought they would; they pulled their wands out.

"wow. So predictable." I chided. Then, I melted into the shadows. "let's play a game, shall we? It's called hide and seek! You have one minute to correctly guess my location, before I kill you. Ready? Go!" I melted directly into the shadows. It was a neat trick I'd learned. I was everywhere, and nowhere. There was no way to win this game of hide and seek.

Of course, old moldy shorts didn't know that. He started firing killing curses all over the room, desperately trying to hit me. I laughed. It echoed eerily.

"you missed." I told him, before coming out of the shadows right behind him. "I don't miss." My sword came up in an arc.

Lord Voldemort, leader of the death eaters, and nut case supreme, fell dead at my feet. I turned to Lucius.

"Have a nice day!" I said cheerily before shadow traveling back to my cabin at camp.

Gods, this week had been long. First, I'd had to reap a soul from a living human boy. Then the order of the flailing flamingos had to interfere, meaning I had to use my reserves to get back to camp. Of course, instead of getting a break, I'd had to teach the newbies sword fighting. *shudder* then I'd had to convince Percy to let me go kill old moldy shorts. Then I' had to convince Will to let me leave to go kill him. Then I had to actually kill the dude.

I need MacDonald's. but I was too tired to shadow travel anywhere. I groaned. How was I to eat the delicious burgers of that heavenly place if I couldn't get there? Will would never go get it for me; He says that there's too much fat in them. He doesn't understand the simple science of 'I don't give a schist!'.

Wait. A lightbulb went off. I could call Jules-Albert! He could drive me to the beautiful M! I ran outside, and did just that. I got in the car on the passenger side.

"Where to master Nico?" he asked.

"Take me to the nearest MacDonald's!" I commanded. He smiled knowingly at me, and set off.

* * *

Lucius was not having a nice day. First, he'd been the one who'd had to tell the Dark lord that they couldn't find the Potter boy. Then, a wierdo in a cloak had murdered Voldemort right in front of his face! But that wasn't the worst. He was out of hair shampoo. How was he supposed to cope?! Without his precious hair shampoo, he was defenseless!

* * *

Harry opened his newspaper. The headline immediately caught his attention.

'VOLDEMORT IS DEAD!' It read. 'huh?' Harry asked himself. Screaming sounded from upstairs, and then a great clamoring, and crashing; the telltale sign of someone coming down.

"Harry?! Did you see the paper?!" Hermione asked frantically.

"Yes Hermione. I saw the paper." He told her calmly.

"Did you do it?!" she demanded.

"No Hermione, I can't leave the house. Remember?" he said tiredly. That boy, Nico his name was, had said that he was going to kill him. Was this Nico's doing? Harry didn't know. Unfortunately, Moody had been there when Nico had shown up, and had almost killed the poor boy. Moddy was of the opinion 'shoot first, ask questions later.' Nico had left in a hurry. Harry hadn't been allowed out of the house since, because he couldn't convince the order that Nico hadn't wanted to kidnap him and give him to Voldemort. Maybe now that he was dead, Harry could leave. The front door swung open, and the great Albus Dum-old-door, came in.

"Harry," he said, deceptively calm. "did you do this?" Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"no! why the *beep* does every *beeping* person think I *beeping* did this?! I didn't *beeping* leave the house! You *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*!"

"Harry! Language!" Hermione cried, completely stunned at her friend's bad mouth.

"No Hermione. I'll say whatever the *beep* I want!" Harry stood. "all you *beeps* can go screw yourselves. I'm *beeping* leaving this piece of *beep*!" Harry stormed out the door, and dissaperated to the Lovegood's house to be with Luna; the only one who understood him.

Neville understood, and married Ginny.

Ron got Lavender. And died three days later under unknown circumstances.

And Draco got over his idiotic prejudice, and married the girl he loved. Him and Hermione lived for many years in happiness.

THE EN-

Oh, almost forgot!

Nico got his MacDonald's, and lived happily ever after with Will.

THE END.

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